A Lot Can Happen in 5 Years!


5 years ago-  My social media was used strictly for fitness accountability. I fell in love with inspiring people through my fitness journey as I lost 25lbs using Tone it Up and realized that a “fit person” just meant someone who didn’t give up on living healthy. I grew up watching my mom work out to Jane Fonda, but figured because I hated gym class and playing competitive sports, that meant I’d never be an active person. Turns out the world of  healthy is so much more versatile than I ever thought. I changed my whole life and even won an amazing prize from Tone it Up that sent me to Hawaii and was truly the catalyst to never give up on my health. 

3 years ago -I had learned so much about my body and nutrition at this time of my life and discovered how deeply these things correlate with my mental health. It’s all fricken connected, people. But I was also seeking a lot of validation. Winning that prize had bumped up my insta followers and opened the endorsement world up to me and I was just so excited to be seen and heard that I got so caught up in the likes and features and abs. I was balanced and healthy and genuinely feeling good, but still had a lot of mental work to be done. I felt better about myself when I got a lot of comments on likes and posts and felt worse when a post didn’t land well. I wasn’t being featured as often and I noticed my self esteem paralleled with this at times. I started slowly losing followers and didn’t understand why- I was doing all the things, right ? But I wasn’t feeling all the things anymore and- the people weren’t buying it.

2 years ago -My husband and I decided to take the leap into parenthood and were very lucky that it was an easy process for us. I was ready for a change and put my faith into the unknown future before me as a mom. I learned to relax a bit more and fell off the social media wagon for a bit. I was so excited for the next step in life, but also professionally and personally imploding. An ache inside me that had been ignored for too long was coming to the surface. Who am I? What would make my heart sing? What can I do that will make a living AND fill my soul? I began having anxiety attacks at work and sought a therapist to help me cope. Sure, you could chalk it up to the hormones- most people did. But I knew this wasn’t new at all. The fact that I was bringing a little human into the world made me wake up to the fact that I had gone down the “supposed to” path for too long. I did some deep WERK and one of the first things that happened was finding a perfect fit to what I want to do for the rest of my life. I took the classes and became a certified Life Coach and felt unbelievably inspired that when I welcomed my son into the world I could talk the talk and walk the walk so that he would always know that what’s in your heart is the path you should follow. 

1 year ago- I gave birth to my beautiful boy, Huck. My whole world was rocked. The fierce love I felt for him the moment he was placed into my arms shook me to my core. I feel so fricken blessed to walk this earth with him and to show him the world. But motherhood is HARD! And the first 6 months of his life I had to put me on the back burner because I was surviving not thriving. Sleep deprivation, postpartum anxiety, and depression consumed me and I had nothing else in me to give to myself. When sleep returned and I hired a coach, things felt so much better. I woke up again to me and started where I left off while pregnant - but with an insane amount strength and perseverance in my pocket of tools that hadn’t been there before. I started diving deeper again and reading all the things and putting in the work to GROW as a human and show others they can do the same. 

THAT BRINGS ME TO NOW- I am damn proud of my journey and my story. And this is just a fraction of it here. I will continue to do the work and live my life full of passion and drive. Social media has become exactly what it was meant to be. A tool to share and connect. A place I can be open with all of you about the things from my SOUL that I hope will help you too or even just bring you joy. No longer do I need validation because I have learned to validate myself. We are all placed here on this earth at this time for a reason. I feel so deeply that my reason is to help other women find theirs. Find what lights them up, ignites their fire, awakens them to the deeper part of themselves that will allow them to live happily and FULLY. I feel that my journey has led me to this revelation and I hope that in some small way my short story opens up even the smallest of piece of you that begins to ask “what am I here for?” 

Caitlin Apple